So I’m preparing for a move to Spain soon…
This time, I’m going as an expat spouse—because of my husband’s job—which is totally different from when I moved to Chile. That move was 100% my decision, my dream, my idea.
And because this move is different, I’ve been reflecting on everything I wish I knew before I packed up my life and moved abroad the first time.
Not to scare you! I just want to offer what I didn’t get back then. I got a lot of practical tips, but no one really prepped me for what I’m about to share.
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Let’s get into it:
1. The Honeymoon Phase Doesn’t Last Forever
At first, everything is exciting—the food, the sounds, the colors, the freedom of newness. You notice the little things. You’re impressed by things you never thought you’d even care about.
It’s a magical phase. But it is a phase.
Just like the honeymoon phase in a relationship or marriage, the newness of moving abroad wears off eventually. And that doesn’t mean you failed. It doesn’t mean something went wrong.
It just means life has settled in.
You’re still in your new country, but now you’re living real life there.
The good news? That’s when the real depth starts. It’s where you build roots, not just memories.
2. You’re Still You Abroad
No shade to shows like Emily in Paris, but let’s be honest—moving abroad doesn’t turn you into a whole new person. It’s not a personality transplant.
You’re still you.
If you were insecure back home, that might still show up. If you were stuck in certain patterns, they might follow you.
But here’s the gift in that: the distance from your old life gives you new perspective.
You realize, “Oh… maybe it’s not my job, or my apartment, or even the city—it’s something in me that needs love, attention, healing.”
Moving abroad doesn’t erase your stuff, but it can help you finally face it.
3. Friendships Take Time
This one is huge.
There’s a difference between meeting people and finding your people.
And it might take a while to find your people. I wish someone had told me that.
In the beginning, I made friends, but they weren’t my people. It took time—sometimes years—to build the deep friendships I have now.
And when you’re outside your home support system, it’s easy to feel like you should already have a tight-knit group.
But real friendships—the kind where you feel seen and safe—take time, just like they did back home.
Also, if you’re friends with other expats, people move. Often.
I’ve had to say goodbye more times than I can count. It’s hard. It hurts.
But it’s also kind of beautiful—because now I have people I love all around the world.
So yeah, friendship abroad is a revolving door sometimes. But it’s one worth walking through again and again.
4. It’s Easy to Feel Behind (But You’re Not)
I didn’t really think about this when I moved abroad.
But when friends back home start checking off the “life milestone” boxes—job promotions, homeownership, marriage, babies—it can bring up a lot.
Especially when your life abroad looks fun and adventurous from the outside… but inside, you’re wondering if you’re doing it “wrong.”
But here’s the truth:
You’re not behind.
You’re just on a different path.
And yeah, it’s not always linear. But that doesn’t make it wrong. It makes it yours.
5. Living Abroad Fundamentally Changes Who You Are
This one’s deep. And honestly, I’ll probably do a whole episode on it.
But just like becoming a parent changes you, living abroad forever changes you too.
You expand. You stretch.
You learn how to build safety, home, routine, relationships—in a place totally different from where you were raised.
You might not fully feel like you belong “here” or “there” anymore.
You might feel like you have one foot in each world.
But here’s the beauty:
You get to choose who you want to be.
You get to define your identity beyond borders, cultures, or expectations.
It’s not always comfortable—but it’s powerful.
And in that messy middle space of “Where do I belong?”—you’ll find your way.
You’re not lost. You’re just expanding.
6. Routines Matter More Than You Think
When I first moved abroad, I didn’t have routines.
I was the girl who hit snooze five times, rolled out of bed at the last minute, rushed out the door—and then wondered why I felt anxious all the time.
I didn’t realize it then, but what I was missing was grounding.
Especially in those early months of expat life—when everything feels new and unfamiliar—your routines become your anchor. They’re what give your days shape, comfort, and a sense of home.
It doesn’t have to be anything big or fancy.
Maybe it’s journaling in the morning.
Maybe it’s making your coffee the same way each day and sipping it while reading a book.
Maybe it’s your Sunday walk or your midweek laundry playlist.
These might sound small—or even “boring”—but when everything around you feels foreign, the ordinary can be what keeps you steady.
And in that steadiness, we start to feel safe.
So if you’re feeling ungrounded, start with rhythm. Create moments in your day that are just for you. The repetition of simple things is what slowly helps you feel like you belong.
And it’s not the big adventures or night-outs that make you feel at home.
It’s the quiet, repeated stuff.
7. Your Definition of “Success” Will Change
One thing I didn’t expect when I moved abroad?
The way my values would shift.
Back home, success felt like titles, money, milestones.
I moved abroad thinking I’d learn Spanish, go back in a year, and use it to land a better job. Simple. Linear. Strategic.
But when I stayed? I had to ask myself—what actually matters to me now?
Living abroad invites you to rethink everything you thought success meant.
You might find that peace feels more important than prestige.
Or that a slower pace, deeper connections, or being aligned with your values becomes the real measure of a good life.
Especially if you’re coming from hustle culture (cough cough, looking at you U.S.A.), there’s often a process of unlearning. Of realizing, “Oh wait—maybe success doesn’t have to look like constant striving.”
Maybe it looks like joy.
Or freedom.
Or ease.
Let your definition of success evolve with you.
You’re not doing it wrong—you’re just changing. And that change? It might be the best thing that ever happened to you.
So yeah, those are just a few things I wish someone had told me before I moved abroad the first time.
If you’re in the thick of it now—or gearing up for your move—I hope this reminds you that you’re not alone.
You’re not behind.
You’re not failing.
You’re growing.
If any of this resonated with you, book a free consult call here and let’s explore what’s next for you.
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