If you’re navigating a season of uncertainty or transition in your expat journey, you’re not alone. As an expat and a coach, I’ve always committed to showing up honestly—not just when I’ve reached clarity or breakthroughs, but also in the in-between spaces. This post isn’t coming from a place of “having it all figured out.” Instead, it’s being written from the messy middle itself—right in the thick of it.
Let’s talk about what it means to show up when life abroad doesn’t feel shiny, clear, or exciting—and how we can find meaning even when things feel stuck.
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So I’m going to be super honest here. I have been procrastinating on recording this week’s podcast episode. Like, this is recorded last minute—Tuesday the 13th for tomorrow, Wednesday the 14th.
The Messy Middle Is Part of the Journey
Hello, Mary, Martha here, M&M for short, your podcast host and Life and Clarity Coach for expats.
If you’re new here or not, welcome back to Your Best Life Abroad podcast, a podcast where we talk about building your best life abroad from a deeper, more genuine place—because you truly do not deserve anything less.
Because I personally am going to be really real and transparent with everyone. I’m going through my own personal messy middle, in-between season, transition—and I will go into more of that. I was feeling really blocked and stuck and honestly just uninspired.
I kept going on and on like, what can I talk about? Until I realized I should talk about this—because so many times when we hear coaches or people or anyone talking about this phase of their lives or being blocked and feeling stuck, it’s after they’re unstuck. But it’s not when they’re in it.
And something that is important to me is being transparent and honest and showing up honestly and transparently. Especially because a lot of the things I coach on, I also sometimes need to coach myself on—because I’m also a human being. I’m also an expat. So I get it.
Here I am showing up in my messy middle, in my stuckness, anyways. Because I want you to know: if you’re here—or if you’ve ever been there in that stuck, messy middle where you just feel blocked and uninspired and things are just not going the way you want—it’s not flowing, it’s difficult, it’s a challenging season… hey, I’m with you.
I’m here right now. And it’s OK to be there. It’s OK to show up there.
To be really, really transparent, I won’t go into the nitty-gritty of everything—I plan on making a podcast on the specifics later when I’m ready—but this has just been a very challenging season for me.
2025 has been one of those years that personally and professionally—as an entrepreneur—has been really, really challenging. I’m also navigating an unexpected, possible temporary move with my husband. So this is a very different experience for me—navigating a move now as an expat spouse, versus when I moved to Rata, Chile by myself.
That’s a very different experience—when you have agency, when you have decision, and when you don’t.
I’m traveling a lot right now, which is amazing and I’m super grateful for that. But sometimes when you’re out of your routine, out of your flow, it can be a lot. Visiting family and friends is really front and center—connecting with my loved ones back home—but trying to keep up with work and dealing with a little bit of reverse culture shock… it’s a lot.
I’m sharing all this with you because I don’t think I’m the only one going through this. And I want to normalize addressing it without shame, without embarrassment.
Like, hey—this is stuff that I deal with too. Sometimes I feel blocked and stuck too.
What If Feeling Stuck Is a Message?
Something that’s helping me just show up right now and move through this block and these challenges—because we all go through challenging seasons—is turning this block into a moment of reflection and curiosity.
I know that can feel really uncomfortable, because sometimes there’s this tendency to move through it quickly. We just want to get to the other side, right? We don’t want to be in the messy middle. We don’t want to be in the challenging time. We want to get to the other side.
I feel you.
But you know—what could feeling blocked and stuck and being kind of in that messy middle be showing you or teaching you? Is there an opportunity to take care of yourself in a deeper way? Love yourself in a deeper way? Show up for yourself?
Use this experience—this challenging season where you feel stuck—to get to know yourself more.
I know this is probably weird expat advice—or maybe it feels like, “What? Not everything is about building a friendship circle or getting hired?”
But these are all important parts of living abroad. And in my experience as an expat, this lifestyle can really draw out a lot of unhealed things, tendencies, patterns, or behaviors that we might be unaware of. How we respond to stressors—because there will be stressors in life abroad.
And the way we respond to those stressors might not always be aligned with the version of ourselves we are now.
In the hustle and bustle of expat life—in the expat FOMO, the fear of missing out—you always want to be going, experiencing, doing. You’re probably busy, high-achieving, want to travel, want to learn languages. But if you’re feeling blocked or stuck, you might not immediately think to slow down and ask, “What is this telling me?”
But that’s the lesson. That’s where there’s beauty in the expat experience—experiencing things more deeply, being more aware of your own experience.
It can be painful, but it can also be a necessary and challenging experience to ask yourself:
– Where do I need to rest?
– Where do I need to slow down?
– Is there a shift that needs to happen?
– Is the way I’m thinking or doing things still serving me?
Because it’s my personal belief—and a philosophy I apply in my coaching—that a block is just a type of message. Feeling stuck is showing you something.
Think of it like a literal roadblock in the street—you don’t just drive through it. You might need to take a different way.
So take a step back, soften, don’t push through. Tune in with yourself. Let the silence be there and see what comes up.
In this season of feeling blocked—I didn’t want to get on here today. I didn’t want to record. But it’s important to me to be transparent and honest. To show you that even though I’m a coach—and I love being a coach—I’m also a human being who goes through these things too.
That’s an important part of my coaching philosophy. A lot of my coaching comes from the place of: “Hey, I get it—because I’m working through this too.”
The in-between—the messy middle or transition—especially when you’re going through a lot of challenges, is part of the process of becoming. And it’s not always supposed to make sense. That’s probably why it doesn’t right now.
Showing Up Is Enough
What I want you to take away from today is: if you’re feeling blocked, just showing up is enough. Just showing up in your honesty is enough.
There’s a lot of uncertainty in my life right now. And uncertainty can be so exciting, so invigorating—an adrenaline rush. And as expats, we have this interesting, contradictory relationship with uncertainty.
We love it, but we also kind of resent it. It’s part of the reason we choose this life—it’s very uncertain, living abroad, not knowing how long you’ll be somewhere. But at the same time, it can be hard to feel rooted and grounded when nothing feels certain.
So it’s OK if your feelings around uncertainty and the messiness of where you are keep shifting. It’s OK if you feel both excited and unsure. That’s normal.
If you’re in a season where you don’t have the words, don’t have the energy, not sure what’s next, and it all feels sluggish—that’s OK. Keep showing up. Blocked and all. That’s OK.
That’s it for today. And I hope that from this messy, transparent, unscripted episode, you’re feeling a little bit seen and a little bit validated. You don’t always need to have it all together.
You just need to show up.
Let’s Navigate the In-Between Together
If this season of your expat life feels messy, uncertain, or stuck—I see you. I’m walking through it too, and you don’t have to navigate it alone.
I work with expats who are navigating the real emotional and personal challenges of life abroad—not just the surface-level stuff, but the deeper identity shifts and transitions that come with this life.
If you’re ready to feel more grounded, clear, and supported through your own messy middle, let’s talk.
👉 Book a free consult call with me here!
Showing up—even in the mess—is more than enough.
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